Between Love & Anger. . !!

I know that I still don’t really know you, but guess what?! You became a part of my everyday thoughts !!! And when I think about you there is always no middle ground !!! Whether if feels like great love or great anger. .!!



A great love, because you would never imagine how you changed me and my mind !! you made me think about things I may be had never thought about before . . . and when I am around you and act like I don’t care is because I couldn’t find a way to love you more !!!!!


But a great anger, because I am at a point when I am ready  to risk everything just to have you in my life, while you still can’t decide what to do or what’s next !!!!!!


This is how I have been feeling for months now, and I am not sure for how long I will be able to take such pressure !!!!!

A Crumbled Paper . .

A crumbled paper. .
Full of thoughts about you. .
Written with my valuable ink of love. .
Which is so real and so true. .
A crumbled paper . .
With Imprinted words of passion. .
That will never fade away. .
Telling our story . .

I wish could reveal . . someday !

RoU

Alone

Before I met you I was waiting for you... dreaming of the day to see you, the day I become complete, and now I found you my perfect half, my soul mate.

And now surprisingly I realized, I was single but never alone, my books and my friends filled my empty spaces for long, they were always my best company but I never thought it was enough.

that was strange, when I felt your love, and I finally met you, all of the sudden I felt loneliness!!! How this could happen!!

I am counting the minutes while you are away pushing hours to move , and with you time flaw breaking the roles ...hours are seconds and days are dreams.

you enlarged my life expanded my spaces , my heart and my fears too, you are giving me bigger life , bigger dreams and nothing is helping me any more… and I need you all the time to fill my increased spaces, this is my only explanation I think.

Please help me to find a way, How I can be with you all the time and never feel this loneliness again..

I am alone more than I was ever before you , i am burning on a fire of missing you

I love you to an extent that turns your complete presence into killing loneliness by the fear of losing you….

and turns the distances between us to gardens of Tranquility and comfort by the hope of meeting you ….

And till I meet you I am waiting and I will always be dreaming of those beautiful seconds near your heart enjoying my loneliness with hope….

Eve ,

Look Into your Heart . .

Would you do a favor for me . . ?!
Look into your heart . .
And tell me what you see . . .
Do you find love . . ???
If yes , is it true . . ??!
Do what I feel . .
Could ever happen to you . .
Please tell me what is inside and look into my eye . .
Don’t leave me that way. . !
Confused & wondering why . .
Tell me . . . and I promise to wait forever. .
With all my love. .
Till the day we will be together . .

RoU,

just stop controlling

i was afraid and lost , and still have my fears i can;t deny , but in a way it is not over taking me that strong as before .

well , let me tell you what was happening ....surprisingly i found my self in closed circle of bad thoughts ,surrounded by fears and frustration , i tried to make my self happy more than once , but i just forget what were my best ideas out , i was helpless with no intention or effort ,

i surrendered to the beasts of bad thoughts , and that was my idea to feed them with my surrender , and to make them grow , and if i was lucky enough they will kill me and eat me up and then i will end my misery for good .. metaphoric of course

but out of no where a breeze of hope touched my face , it was overwhelming feeling took the control of my wild beast i created

i cant say it is new feeling for me to feel like this , but it was a moment of truth to my self after a long time of suffering , all the bad thoughts and all my fears controlled me for long time, even i listend to my friends saying that you will survive you are strong , but i didn't see this , i am weak and i am enjoying my weakness now , leave me alone i said.

all their advises didn't help ,how i can stop what i can't control !! i listened to writers and motivation sessions , and non helped me that fast , but recognizing for one second that i have now a very precious thing i am ruining by thinking of future .

as much as we appreciate what we have as much we are afraid to lose it , and this what make us stressed and lost , but if we give our selves time to realize that we already miss it now by all our intentions , we will not lose what is in our hands to what is not.

and believe it or not you have not any control on any thing, the only thing you control is the effort you do to reach the surface again , or you will stay down for ever !

that was my letter to my self and to you ,

Eve ,

In a Circus Called Life

In a circus called life I met you , I was there between the crowed enjoying your plays , I laughed and i cried amazingly surprised… then your eyes looked inside me , you pulled me out of myself ,I felt your sadness and your hidden pain I saw you behind the mask… I was captured by the power of your magic

I came every day searching for you, a day after day you stole my life away,

Painted me with your colors one by one

and now I can’t see my face I can’t feel myself again , I only see a clown lost in your life

I don’t know when or where I lost my memories, I just remember your stories, parts of your life and your sorrows become mine!

I looked myself in your world between your animals, I dropped my life , and I now see the truth, a lie named love, you needed a soul and you took mine

The only trace of me was an old hot tear I shed over myself, and even that one your hands took away by the name of love!!

Lost in your life and that is not love, Love was never to be one it is always to stay two, let me out of your painted world , give me my life back out of your circus , let me remember myself again …….

Eve ,,

follow your heart ...

follow your heart , where ever it takes you , face hard and good times, but don't wast your life in the safe garden , such place never exists

enter your forest and discover your deep strengths , use all what God gave you years before you born ..feel it all

feel love give love and take all your chances , it may fails you , and takes all your hope away , leaving you in the dark with sorry for your self , feel that too

and then give it up and open your window again re grow hope in your gardens again , and watch it growing till you be strong enough to take another chance and live it too till the end ..

what ever happens to you what ever it takes till you meet your Adam , or till you meet your Eve , don't despair , don't lose your seeds of hope ...

Eve ,